Churning of the Mind, Yearning of the Heart
by darkrunner
Summary: Mai thinks Jou's secretly dating Anzu, so she tries to get back at him by going out with Otogi. Turns out he was working extra to get money for a ring! Sounds like something out of a bad fanfic! Chapter 1 MaiOtogi for a contest, chapter 2 JouMai for me.
1. Mind

Flippantshipping (Otogi x Mai) for round 5 of computerfreak101's contest.  
For being such a rabid polarshipper, I was actually excited to get this pairing. I would've preferred regalshipping winkwinknudgedugeCompy! but just to have any pairing with either Mai or Jou, the characters I know best, is a relief. 

I apologize for Mai. Maybe she's in character to some people, but this is not the way I like to write her.

The prefecture I put Domino in is a real prefecture in Japan, located on the Pacific coast.

Disclaimer: If I owned Yugioh I wouldn't scour conventions for doujinshis, now would I?

* * *

Mai grabbed her coat off the table and angrily pushed past Jounouchi. "Mai, I told you, she's just my _friend_," Jounouchi said, exasperated.

"Then why didn't you tell me?!" she said, whirling around.

"I didn't think I had to!" Jou replied, holding his hands up defeinsively. "You know I love you, Mai; you know I would never--"

"Don't," she cut him off, shaking her head as she walked out the door.

"Mai!" he called behind her, but the door slammed in his face.  
-----

Mai ran out onto the street, nearly in tears. She felt horrible for walking out on Jounouchi, but she didn't know what else to do. Mai had just caught Jou coming back from a 'date' (he insisted it wasn't, but Mai wasn't fooled) with Anzu. If it had just been this, she might have let it go, but he had been distant with her for the past few weeks now. At first, Mai hadn't believed that Jou was... doing whatever it was that he was doing. She believed his excuses: he was busy; he had work; he made plans with one of his friends--he had just confessed that it was Anzu he was seeing--but finally, Mai had had enough. They had planned to go out earlier that evening, but Jou had been late. When he finally did show up, he told Mai that he had been with Anzu, and then revealed that he had been meeting with her for weeks now. He had tried to make excuses--claimed that they were just friends--but Mai wold have none of it. She knew that they were close friends; they had all proved that time and again, but why would Jou blow _her_ off for just a friend? She and Jounouchi had been together for a year now. Jou had finally found her after all these years apart, (she had just turned 28, making it four years since they had first met and three years since Doom) and she didn't want to believe that he would have gone through all that to just throw it away in a couple of weeks.  
Mai slid into her car, crossed her arms over the steering wheel, and started to cry. _Why?_ She thought desperately. _What did I do?_ Why would he leave her? He loved her... She loved him... wasn't that enough? Apparently not. Wiping her tears on the back of her hand, Mai looking up at his apartment sadly. She had half a mind to run out of the car, go back up, and beg him to have her back. She loved Jou. She _needed_ Jou. Mai had actually opened the car door and was about to step out, when she suddenly stopped.  
_What did I do wrong?_ She thought. _Nothing! Why should I have to go back to _him? _I'm not the one dating their so-called 'friend' behind my back!_ Firmly, she slammed the car door shut. It wasn't her fault. _He_ would have to come back to _her_. She glanced up at the light in the apartment again. It went out, and Mai imagined that he was running off to meet Anzu again. She tore her eyes from the building and grabbed her purse of the seat next to her. Well, two could play at that game. She pulled a phone out of her purse.  
"Moshi-moshi? Information? I need a number for Domino, in Fukushima prefecture. ... Name?" Mai hesitated for just a moment before she replied confidently, "Otogi Ryuji."  
-----

"Mai-san," Otogi said cooly. "This is a surprise."

"How've you been, Otogi?" she asked nicely, trying to ease into conversation.

"Well enough," he replied. "What's going on? You've never called before."

"Can't a girl just call up an old friend?"

"...no offense, Mai-san, but I knew you for about two days. And one of them, you were comatose. In fact, the last time I saw you, I'm pretty sure you were trying to kill us."

"That just proves we need to get to know each other better," she said quickly.

"Was this Jounouchi-kun's idea?" he asked.

"..."

"Mai-san?"

"Don't mention him," she said darkly.

"Wha...?" Otogi said, very confused. "You... is something wrong?"

"No," Mai said firmly. She decided to quit playing around and just ask him straight out. "Are you doing anything tonight?"

"No..." he said hesitantly. "Um... Mai-san... does Jounouchi-kun know about--"

"Don't worry about him," she said. "He knows."

"...if you say so," he replied uncertainly. "What did you have in mind?"

-----

A movie was what she had in mind. Specifically, a movie that she knew Jounouchi was going to see--he had been waiting months for this release; it was some kind of martial arts Hollywood guy that reminded her oddly of Jean-Claude Magnum--though she didn't tell Otogi that part.

"Mai-san," Otogi greeted her when she walked up to meet him outside the theater.

"Otogi!" she called enthusiastically, waving to him. Though the whole scheme was just to make Jounouchi jealous, it still was nice to see Otogi again.

"Shall we go in?" he said, offering his arm. Mai took it gladly and glanced around. So far, no Jounouchi. Otogi led her into the theater. Jou's movie release really wasn't anything to be excited about--the guy was just another Jean-Claude Magnum--so it wasn't especially crowded, but it still wasn't exactly easy trying to find Jounouchi. It didn't help that she had to pretend to pay attention to Otogi while he chatted to her about she didn't even know what. Something about his game shop, she thought. Maybe. Oh well, he didn't really like her anyway, what did it matter if she wasn't totally paying attention?

Before she knew what had happened, Otogi bought their tickets--Mai felt a slight twinge of guilt at this. If he was going to be part of her revenge, she wanted to at least pay her own way. But then he started talking about DDM sales worldwide, and she figured that another thousand yen wouldn't hurt him. She started to actually pay attention to him now. She didn't want Otogi knowing about the revenge, at least.

They went into the movie theater, and gradually, had to stop talking as the movie started. Mai didn't mind this too much, though, as it made it easier to look for Jounouchi. She leaned close to Otogi just in case he could see them. She would make him regret ever hurting her... even though she probably deserved it... after all the things that had happened... no! That was over now. He didn't blame her for Doma. He told her that.

But then why would he have left her?

She didn't know.

..._does he blame me?_ Had it been something from before? It had been two years since Jounouchi had found her again. The first thing she said to him was 'I'm sorry'. Again, and again she apologized, begging for his forgiveness, and expecting his rejection. Instead of tossing her out on the street like she had probably deserved--he saved her life, and she tried to _kill_ him!--he forgave her on the spot, and took her in his arms. She swore that day, that she would never do anything to hurt him ever again.

...what the hell was she doing?

But it was Jounouchi's fault! He told her he would never leave her! He said he loved her! And he had loved her... until... whatever it was that Mai did that drove him away.

Mai suddenly felt horribly alone. Jounouchi didn't love her anymore. Instinctively, she pulled closer to Otogi. To her surprise, he wrapped his arm around her comfortingly. For a moment, she forgot that she was there to make Jounouchi jealous, and was caught up in the wonderful feeling of having someone with her again. She closed her eyes, and for a second, she swore it could have been Jounouchi in the seat next to her.

Which then made her remember why it really wasn't Jounouchi. Her eyes snapped open, and she realized just how close her and Otogi were. And that it was Otogi sitting there. Not Jounouchi. She tried to remember again what being with Otogi was going to accomplish. She was drawing a blank, and that was making her panic. Instead, she focused on her fight with Jou. She had to go through with this. He hurt her. If she could make him know how she felt, then maybe... mabe he would come back.  
-----

"Mai?" Otogi said when the movie was over. The light had come back on, and people were standing up to leave. Mai was staring blankly ahead, trying to work up the nerve to confront Jounouchi. She didn't even notice that Otogi dropped the honorific on her name. He put his hand on her shoulder gently, and she suddenly looked up at him.

"Time to go," he said quietly.

"Huh?" Mai said dully. "Oh... right..." she stood up quickly and followed him out of the theater. Just as they went out the door, she spotted Jounouchi down at the far end of the hallway. Seeing him finally renewed her desire for him to see her with Otogi. She grabbed the dice boy's arm and started down after Jounouchi.

"Mai?" he asked as he followed blindly.

"Don't worry, Oto... Ryuji," she said, switching to his given name for Jounouchi's benefit. "It'll just take a second."

They turned the corner, and there was Jounouchi, looking at a poster on the wall. Mai let go of Otogi's arm and walked over to Jou. He turned when he heard her coming. Judging by the look on his face, he hadn't expected to see her there.

"Mai!" he exclaimed, shocked. He quickly hid his hand behind his back. "I was hoping you would..." he caught a glimpse of Otogi and his expression darkened.

"Mai," Jounouchi hissed. "What are you doing?"

"What does it look like I'm doing?" she said angrily. "I'm here with Ryuji."

"'Ryu...'" Jounouchi sputtered, taking a step back in surprise. "'Ryuji'?!"

"That's right, _Jounouchi_," she spat.

"You don't understand," Jounouchi said, clenching his fists. "Mai--"

"What's going on here?" Otogi cut in, appearing suddenly at Mai's side. She clung to him and glared at Jounouchi, whose hidden hand was now hanging at his side.

"Nothing," Jounouchi said in a low voice. Otogi caught a glimpse of something in his hand, and started to say something, but Jou silenced him with a glare.

"Don't you get mad at Ryuji," Mai said to Jou. He lowered his gaze and turned to leave. "You've got no one to blame but yourself." Jounouchi left without a word.  
"That's enough, Mai," Otogi said quietly, before she could say anything else.

"I can't believe him!" she exclaimed when Jounouchi was safely out of earshot. "He had no right to come in here and lecture _me_--"

"Mai," Otogi said very seriously, and she stopped talking and looked at him curiously. He opened his mouth to say something, but instead looked away guiltily and sighed.

"Jounouchi-kun wasn't doing anything with Anzu," he said finally. Mai gaped at him. That was the last thing she expected--or wanted--to hear. "He..." Otogi glanced at her anxious face, then quickly looked back down at his feet. "He was getting advice... on... on when to propose... to you." His face colored, and he turned away from her. Mai stood there dully, in shock.

"But..." she protested feebly. "He... he met with her... so many times..."

"Actually," Otogi said. "He really was working. To pay off the ring."

"And you know this, how?!" Mai demanded, desperately hoping that it wasn't true.

"Jounouchi-kun told Honda-kun, and Anzu told Yugi-kun, and I don't know who Bakura heard it from, and Shizuka-chan probably guessed even before her brother said anything... anyway, I heard a bit from everyone. And... Jounouchi-kun already told us all about what you did... he doesn't blame you, you know."

Mai missed the last bit of what he said, and felt a horrible sinking feeling in her stomach. _He hadn't...?_ Jounouchi hadn't cheated on her? He still loved her? "Oh god..." she said, horrified, pulling away from Otogi. What had she done? "I have to find him... I have to tell him..." she turned back to look at Otogi. "But... if you knew all that, then why... why didn't you tell me?"

"Would you have believed me?" he asked. Mai silently shook her head. No, she wouldn't have. Probably she would have thought that Jounouchi had sent him. But then... wait... Mai thought about all of it for a moment. Otogi had known about Jou and the meetings with Anzu and the ring... and the breakup... then why...?

"Ryuji," she knew that she didn't need to use his given name anymore, but it came out anyway. Neither of them particuarly minded. "If you knew all that, why did you even come with me?"

"Well..." he started, shifting uncomfortably. "I knew that you were just using me to make him jealous," Otogi said. Mai looked down at the ground guiltily. "But..." he said hesitantly, looking right at her. "I didn't mind. Mai... you love him. And EVERYONE knows that he loves you. This is probably the only chance I'll ever get to be with you like this. Even if it means just being your revenge... it was worth it."

Mai stared at him disbelivingly as the sinking feeling in her stomach grew worse. The reason she had called Otogi over anyone else she knew was because he _wouldn't_ like her. That, and he was probably the only one that she could make Jou jealous of short of Seto Kaiba himself.

"Ryuji," she finally managed to say. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to..."

"Nah," he said. "It's okay. Just... one last thing..."

"Yes?"

He leaned in suddenly and kissed her. Mai was caught off-guard, and it took a few seconds before she pushed him away.

"Ryuji!"

"Aw well," he sighed. "It was worth a try."

-  
A/N: Yeah... that wasn't what I imagined at all. ;; Waaaay too much polar. Maybe I should've gone with the deathfic... anyway, hope you liked it somewhat. There's the review button. Feel free to click it.


	2. Heart

A/N: Even though (or maybe because) the first chapter of this fic lost in the contest, I want to write another chapter. Just so I can make sure I get all my polar in.

First person is Mai, third person is either Jou or omniscient. I can write Mai in the first person decently well, but I'm still working on Jou.

Disclaimer: (points to Takahashi-sensei) All his.

* * *

There was a soft tapping at the door. Jounouchi looked up, expecting it to open. All his friends had copies of his key and only knocked as a formality. The door stayed firmly shut.

"Hello?" Jounouchi called, getting up from his seat. He crossed the small room, shadows playing across the far wall. One dim lamp was his only light. He twisted the handle and opened the door.

Upon seeing the person standing in his doorway, he slammed it shut again.

* * *

I sat in that car for ages before I got the nerve to walk up. Here I am, but... what if he says no? I can't... I need him. Jou, please, listen, I think as I raise my hand to knock.

The wait is excruciating. He calls, and I open my mouth to repsond, but nothing comes out. I can't say anything, guilt weighing down on me like nothing I've ever felt before. I swear, it's even worse than after Doom. At least then I had the excuse of nightmares about a crazy evil sadistic bastard and the influence of a psycho megalomaniac trying to take over the world. But this one... this falls one hundred percent on my shoulders. I wait some more. The hall's so quiet, I can hear my breathing. I think I can hear _his_ breathing. The lock clicks and the doorknob turns agonizingly slowly.

Jou's head appears in front of me for a fraction of a second. As soon as we make eye contact and I finally open my mouth to say something, the door abruptly closes again.

Chiksho!

I resist the urge to stamp my foot or pound on his door. Watashi wa baka! I'm such an idiot! Why didn't I just believe him! He wouldn't have been going out with anyone else, least of all _Anzu_. I've got no right to be here, I know that. Jou could walk away right now, and I wouldn't be able to say a thing.

"Jounouchi," I plead. The words tumble out of my mouth before I can stop them. I know I shouldn't say anything. I've got no right to be talking to him, but dammit, I'm going to anyway! "Katsuya." If I'm going to do this, might as well do it right. "I'm sorry!" Ah, the phrase of a million excuses. Oops, sorry, I bumped into you. Sorry, I cheated when we were dueling. Sorry, I tried to steal your soul. Sorry, I went out with the biggest playboy in the city to make you jealous.

There's no answer. Why is there no answer? Is he ignoring me? Is he listening on the other side of the door, his hand on the knob, hanging by my every word? Maybe this whole thing is one big misunderstanding, and he's afraid that's it's all his fault and _that's_ why he doesn't want to talk.

Yeah, right.

* * *

Jounouchi slammed the door shut, his eyes wide.

Shit.

As quietly as he could, Jou ran away from the door and into his tiny bedroom. Mai was back to yell at him. He had made up his mind at the theater; the next time she accused him of cheating, he'd just show her the ring and hope that she would believe him. He really had been at work! But he supposed he didn't have any proof of that. It was natural of her to think that something was up, he guessed. Dangit, why did everything romantic he tried to do end so badly? Jounouchi sighed as he rummaged through his things. In the background, he vaguely heard Mai talking. It was awfully quiet for scolding though; he guessed she was holding back because of the neighbors.

Kso, where WAS that thing? Jou turned on the spot, running his eyes over every inch of his room. He'd turned out all the drawers and anywhere else out of sight the box might have been hiding. He dashed back into the main room to search it. He had to find it! Mai would kill him AGAIN--the first for making her think he had been cheating--if she knew he lost it. Scanning the room, Jounouchi caught sight of his bag. He leapt for it, praying the the precious box was somewhere within.

"...I'm sorry..." a voice drifted from the doorway. Jou stopped frantically searching his bag for a split second. What?

* * *

I wait a few more seconds to gauge his reaction. All I hear from the apartment are the occasional muffled footsteps. He's ignoring me. I knew it. No, Katsuya, don't do this... I draw a shaky breath. I can't just let him leave me like this.

"Katsuya," I say again. "Please, don't do this. I didn't mean it. You know I didn't mean it--" The words catch in my throat as I remember...

_"You know I love you, Mai; you know I would never--"_

I feel something warm prickling the corners of my eyes. I close them and let my head hit the cool wooden door.

"Why do I always do this?" I think out loud. I don't care anymore. He's not coming. My pathetic excuses aren't going to get me anywhere. No harm in rambling a bit before I go. "Everything's too good to be true. After Battle City, why did I leave? I told you your friendship was too strong. You probably wanted to say something, but you just smiled like you always do and accepted it. What the hell was I thinking? Friendship _too_ strong? you know what I was afraid of? I didn't want to be hurt. I always get hurt. Or used to. Then there was a point I just... I stopped trusting. Stopped caring. If I didn't get close to anyone, they wouldn't hurt me, right?

"You changed me, Katsuya. You got me to trust... you got me to love again. But... old habits die hard, I guess, and when I thought that... oh, it sounds so stupid now... that you and Anzu... but that's what I thought. And I was afraid to stay. Because if it was true, and I stayed, then it would hurt more. I love you, Katsuya."

I put my hand on the doorknob, willing it to turn. The tears are coming now, but I don't care. Just let him answer the door.

"I'm sorry."

* * *

Jounouchi rustled through the bag more quickly. He heard nothing else from the hallway. Shoot, how long had she been talking? He hadn't expected an apology. But he'd spent so long looking for that ring--ah ha! He thrust his fist into the bag and pulled it out triumphantly. The small box was nestled safely in his palm. Jou quickly got to his feet and opened the door, bracing himself. He wouldn't put it past her to apologize and then yell at him as soon as the door opened.

* * *

"Mai?" He said tentatively, peeking his head around the corner. Mai looked up quickly, her face shining with tears. Surprised, Jounouchi pulled the door open, concern spreading across his face.

"What is it?" he said quickly, putting his hand on her shoulder.

"Katsuya, I'm sor--" The apology was coming out of her mouth before the oddity of Jou's question hit her. "What do you mean, 'what is it'?" she asked sharply.

"Erm," Jou started awkwardly. He knew he shouldn't finish the sentence. But he was Jou, and he did it anyway. "Why're you crying...?"

Mai gaped at him. "Jounouchi Katsuya, I've been out here for the past five minutes pouring my damn heart out to you and you didn't even... did you hear ANY of it?"

"I heard the 'I'm sorry' bit," he said sheepishly. Wow, tears could really dry fast, couldn't they?

Mai felt her cheeks burning red, but luckily Jounouchi was avoiding her gaze. "Katsuya..." she said, shaking her head. Jounouchi lifted his head to mutter his own apology, but Mai fell into his arms.

"Baka," she murmured, burying her head in his shoulder.

"I guess you're not mad, then," he joked.

"Are you kidding me?" Mai lifted her head. "I came to apologize to you!"

"Aww, Mai," Jounouchi started. "It was my fault to begin with--" Mai wrapped an arm around his neck and kissed him deeply.

"Shut up," she said lightheartedly. "We're not going through that again."

Jounouchi laughed. "Okay then, how about this?"

And he lowered himself to one knee.

* * *

A/N: It sounded stupid when I got any farther than that last sentence, so I just cut it. Maybe I'll write a third chapter someday.

When I read back over this, it was so fluffy that I almost didn't want to post it. I think I'm moving out of my fluffy polar phase. There's some darker fics I've been wanting to write.

Kso - Shit

Chiksho - Damn, Darn

"We're not going through that again": I seem to have this recurring theme of Mai and Jou not communicating and then each thinking the complete opposite of what the other is thinking. (i.e. Mai thought Jou was mad at her, Jou thought Mai was mad at him) I'm working on a three-shot about Mai and Jou meeting two years after Doom and each thinks the other isn't romantically interested and they're both heartbroken. I'll post it someday. Maybe.  
UPDATE: Yes, I DID post it! "Who I Am Hates Who I've Been".


End file.
